Just 5 secs....sooooooo cute.

VOTE for the cutest pet here: The Drive's Paws & Claws.

Most fourth graders just complain about horrible cafeteria food. This one decided to do something about it.

Two weeks ago, there were a couple of inches of snow on the ground in Omaha. Today, it hit 100º. THANKS, OBAMA.

The NTSB issues a 'shelter in place' order.

Problem: all the lines at Disney for the rides are two hours long. Solution: hire a handicapped "tour guide" and get escorted straight up to the front each time.

Woman drops purse in Starbucks; gun in purse goes off and shoots woman's friend. If only the friend's purse had had a gun to shoot back with.

Headline: "Pediatricians go to battle against gun lobby." Subby hopes they don't bring knives.

Nine people who were banned from "Saturday Night Live". Writers from 1980 season surprisingly absent.

LinkedIn to prostitutes: Please stop using our site.

Over the next few weeks, billions of cicadas are expected to invade the East Coast, from North Carolina to Connecticut. Maybe even TRILLIONS. But the good news is they're EDIBLE. In an interview with NBC Philadelphia, Isa Betancourt from the Academy of Natural Sciences at Drexel University explains that cicadas are, quote, "arthropods, which means they have an exoskeleton." "We regularly eat the arthropods of the sea" . . . meaning things like lobsters and crabs. And she even describes cicadas as, quote, "the shrimp of the land." In fact, cicadas are considered a delicacy in certain parts of the world, including China, of course. And there's even a cicada COOKBOOK you can download for free called "Cicada-Licious". Recipes include cicada dumplings, cicada stir-fry, cicada cookies, and cicada-rhubarb pie. According to the author, boiled cicadas DO taste a lot like shrimp. Or if you eat them raw, they have a, quote, "delicate nutty flavor." You just have to pull the wings off first, because they tend to get stuck in your teeth.

(NBC Philadelphia)

Over the weekend, an American Airlines pilot diverted a flight from L.A. to New York and landed in Kansas City . . . because a female passenger wouldn't stop belting out WHITNEY HOUSTON songs. The woman was arrested . . . and sang "I Will Always Love You" as cops escorted her off the plane. She ended up being released without charges.

Really? In this day and age? Kally and Samantha Mabe, a same-sex couple from Mpumalanga, South Africa, were appalled after their son’s Christian school gave them an insensitive ultimatum. According to Care 2, the pastor at Highveld Christian Schoolinformed the lesbian couple that they should divorce if they wanted to keep their son at the school. The Mabes had informed the school of their marital status prior to their son’s enrollment. Months after the Mabes paid for their son’s tuition, the boy’s teacher confronted the principal after he casually mentioned that he had two mothers. The principal told the Mabes that allowing their son to remain at the school would force them to change their moral ethos. It doesn’t really sound like they have one. [IWIDK]

The actress revealed she voluntarily underwent the procedure. ANGELINA JOLIE has revealed that she had both breasts removed after her doctor told her she had a high risk of breast cancer.  Obviously, she had them surgically reconstructed.  She says, quote, "I do not feel any less of a woman.  I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity."  She also praised BRAD PITT for supporting her through the whole thing.

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PHOTO COURTESY: CNN Entertainment

Today's student loan sob story comes from a woman who is $160,000 in debt for a sociology degree.

Morbidly obese 36-year-old mother-of-three ends abusive marriage, loses 252 pounds through diet and exercise, falls in love with boy-toy nine years her junior, plans to open her own weight loss business. TA-DAAA (w/before and after pics).

Old and busted: Jailing reporters who won't reveal their sources. New hotness: Secretly seizing journalists' phone records from their phone companies.

Bad: Kids mess with an autistic boy who wanted to be friends with them. WTF: Then they blew his fingers off with a bomb.

In honor of Teacher Appreciation Week: The Top 10 things no one tells you about making the crazy decision to take charge of a classroom.

Old and busted: Nipple piercing. New hotness: Nipple tattooing, also known as tittooing. (Not safe for work).

The princess from 'Brave' gets a sexy makeover. Just kidding It's really sexist.

Celebrity psychologist and everyone's favorite guest star on C.H.i.P.s, Dr. Joyce Brothers has died at the age of 85.