The shocking story that emerged this past weekend in the National Football League about the murder-suicide in Kansas City is troubling in so many ways. A promising young player kills a younger lady full of potential, a woman who just gave him a child three months ago. 22-year-old Kasandra Perkins was murdered by her boyfriend Jovan Belcher, a 25-year-old linebacker for the Kansas City Chiefs. Following this horrible act committed on the mother of his daughter Zoey, Belcher then drove to the Chiefs football complex where he killed himself with a gun in front of his Coach and team General Manager. If you've ever heard the theme from the legendary TV show M*A*S*H, it's titled "Suicide is Painless". I am here to state that is the biggest lie possible. Suicide is a desperate, selfish act that leaves many in deep pain. Trust me, I know. I had a 17-year-old nephew who killed himself with a shotgun years ago. He did it because he got into an argument with his then-girlfriend. His loss left my family and hers in tatters, shaken to the core. My own mother, who helped to raise her grandson was never the same again. There were many of us left with unanswered questions. Much like two families in Kansas City who now are left to raise a child who will never know her mommy or daddy.
The picture of Jovan Belcher that is now emerging is conflicting, much as his mind must have been on that fateful Saturday morning. He went to the University of Maine where he majored in child development and family relations. That sentence alone is unbelievable. How could he destroy his own family and the future for his child with that background? In college, he signed a pledge to not commit violence when a member of a campus group named Males Athletes Against Violence. Talk about a conflict there! He was a rising star in the NFL, starting in 11 games this season after signing a $2 million dollar contract. Then he went and did these heinous acts. He should not be memorialized, his jersey should not be hung in tribute at the stadium and he should not be considered a hero because he could play football. When it comes down to the basic facts, he is a killer and a coward. The only good that may come out of this tragedy is that perhaps it will open our eyes to people around us. Chiefs QB Brady Quinn (an intelligent grad of Notre Dame) said it right after the game when he stated that everyday we say to people "how ya doin'?" Do we ever really pay attention to their reply? Do we actually care about how someone is "doin'"? Do we see any sign that somebody is in pain and hurting, possibly heading for a giant disaster like what happened to my nephew? I struggle with this now after hearing the shocking news from KC this week. During the holidays, many are lonely, depressed and sometime desperate. Take a second and look around your life with people you're close to, or maybe work with. The best gift you can give is to be able to help somebody in a time of need. And if you are feeling badly this holiday season, don't be afraid to share your thoughts with someone who might be able to help. No matter how strong and successful one looks doesn't always tell the true story. Compassion and understanding are valuable traits at any time of the year, but especially during the holidays. Trust me when I say you never want to feel the pain that is spread from a suicide. It haunts you forever.
